How to Politely Ask Someone to Stay Away from Your House and Family

While navigating the complexities of a new language and culture can be challenging, especially for expatriates in Thailand, knowing how to handle certain situations, like asking someone to stay away from your house and family, is crucial. Here’s a guide to help you navigate such circumstances with grace and respect.

Understanding the Challenge

Many expatriates in Thailand have stumbled upon this issue. They find themselves in situations where someone’s behavior towards them or their family has become unacceptable. A local guidance from a Thai granny who was part of the community played a vital role in understanding Thai culture and etiquette.

Granny, being honored within the community, had a reputation for teaching good manners to children, and she had a stern approach towards those who breached etiquette. This not only made our kids safe but also set a strong example for us to follow.

Training Your Children

If you find yourself in a situation where someone is not suitable for your children, it’s important to train them to avoid such individuals. Being upfront and decisive can prevent further discomfort and ensure their safety and well-being. If you suspect someone might be a threat to your family, it’s essential to act promptly and be clear about your intentions.

Being Direct with the Person

Communication is key. If someone has done something that warrants you asking them to stay away, being polite may not be effective anymore. It’s important to be firm and clear in your message. State your case without any hesitation. Once you’ve offered a polite but firm message, you can conclude by saying something like, 'Please let us live our own life.' Here’s a sample script:

‘I unfortunately need to ask you to stay away from my house and my family. I have made this decision because of [specific reasons]. I hope you can understand my need for this and respect my boundaries. Thank you for your understanding. Goodbye.’

This message is direct and leaves no room for confusion. By being firm, you also set a clear boundary, reinforcing the message that their presence is no longer welcome.

Writing an Email for Clarity

For written communication, having a clear and direct email can be more effective than an in-person conversation. Taking the time to write an email allows you to explain your position in detail while maintaining a respectful tone. Here’s an example of how such an email might look:

Email Example

Dear [Name],

I hope this message finds you well. I would like to discuss a matter regarding your visits to my home and my family. Unfortunately, the recent circumstances have made it necessary for me to set clear boundaries. I have decided to ask you to stay away from my house and my family, effective immediately.

It’s not about being rude; it’s about protecting my family. Please understand that I value our friendship, but it’s important for me to maintain a certain level of safety and respect for my household.

Thank you for your cooperation and understanding. I truly hope you can respect my wishes.

Kind regards,

[Your Name]

The Importance of Being Upfront

When faced with the challenge of asking someone to stay away, especially if they’ve wronged you or your family, it’s crucial to be upfront and direct. It might be tempting to be polite, but sometimes, being polite doesn’t cut it. Be firm and clear in your message while maintaining a respectful tone.

Final Thoughts

Remember, being polite and respectful is important, but sometimes, being clear and direct is necessary to protect your family and maintain your boundaries. Do what you must to ensure the safety and well-being of your household. If you need to go this extreme with someone, don’t worry about being polite. What really matters is that they respect your requests.

As someone once said, 'If you have, for example, to tell someone to... , no questions should be asked in your position, where you are determined not to be polite.'